I CAN'T PROMISE, BUT LET'S START WITH FOREVER.

Isn't it interesting that no matter how far is our distance, no matter how little we actually know someone, it doesn't change what we feel for that person, or how intensely we feel it. Seems terrifying, and at the same time, exhilarating.

Baby, let's take one step backward. Because we, won't be here again together for so long. I can't imagine spending a cold night in silence and wait, for something I don't even know. This is not fair, and will never be.

I have been MIA for 4 months. Eeeeek! School drove me crazy, and I'm not kidding. Have you ever felt like; you did your best, but the result came far from what you have expected before? I do, and there was a time when I hate myself for something I don't deserve. I didn't want to try because I'm sick of falling again. And again. That sucks, yes. Until I realized the existence of earthly suffering; no one could stand upon a wheel for too long. But anyway, at the end, it always comes round to the same place again. 

Thank you for all the readers and subscribers, I do mean this. Thanks for keep supporting instead of leaving, I know it's weird but somehow, you guys who take a minute of your precious time to stop by always make my day! And oh-I bought this shirt for christmas (I love the ruffles details) but-ehm-I got the wrong size soooo ya let's make it just work xD Anyhoo, what's ur plan for Christmas? I sincerely wish you all the most precious moments for sure <3 xx

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I TELL YA, I'M NOT HERE TO SELL YA.

When you walked into my life, I stopped painting. Since you are the perfect work of art. I lost myself in the creases of your heart, in the wrinkles at the edges of your smile. Sweetheart, I don’t want to be just another girl in the long list of girlfriends you ever had. Neither an afterthought, or to be forgotten. Well I gotta tell you that I would stay. I want to be a common fixture in your house, as well as the bed you lay on when you need peace. Like the chairs on the counter top while comfort is what you're looking for. Can you just look at me, please?

In case you are wondering, I wore MAC Russian Red on my lips. Personally the perfect red for me. MAC Ruby Woo or Avon Red Hot might be pretty dupable (Ruby Woo is more into the drier and brighter side) I do love how red lipsticks can boost your confidence like 1,2,3!

[top]My current favorite way to wear a top which is too long and doesn't flatter my body. Just a simple knot and it gives such an unique touch to your outfit! Have you tried this also? ^___^

[bottom]I realize that I have been sticking into my nude pumps lately. Definitely my best pair ever! But before you guys got bored with it, I just wanna show you my newest pair. The color catches my eyes, it's just this soft blueish gray and trust me, it's super comfortable! Can't wait to feature this on the next post =)

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GOD DAMN YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL TO ME.

Mon cher, you were in my dream last night. You smiled at me the way that you used to, the way you gave it only for little me. It was almost like you still wanted me - wanted us. But then I woke up alone and you weren’t there in my arms as I used to embrace you from behind along the cold night.

Ah,you were gone. I can’t wait for the day when I wake up and I don’t remember what it’s like to wake up next to you.When I’m glad that I have bigger space without having to share it with pains and wounds. Most days are probably… fine; I wake up and I’m ok - grateful, I guess. But then on the other hands, there are the days like today- when I forget that we had decided together that this was the end and I forget that it should be better for the each of us.

Those are the days where I just want you to play video games with me again. Or throw jokes about each other. Or just put your hands around me. Those are the days where I forget that, before I met you, I used to be strong enough to get through the day without a lover.

I've been MIA like forever lol, it's holiday and I supposed to blog like more often. But unfortunately, I was suffering from sick (Read: blood vomiting *iuh*) and I don't have any idea abt it =( But hey, still I have to thank God for recovering me little by little now! ^___^

So these last 2 weeks I mostly go out with bf and he's just sweet. I love the fact that he can act like my bestfriend in the same time as a caring man <3 And since I got 1st rank this semester, mom let me shop more which I'd post soon =) (yayness!) Feel free to comment my current drawings and I've been missing you loves!! Xo<3

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WANNA ASK YOU IF YOU LOVE ME, BUT I DON'T WANNA SEEM SO WEAK.

I am tossing pennies into the rain, listening to your breath when you fall asleep next to me. Like you always do. It's only the rythm of raindrops and your cute snore that I'm able to hear. Smallest things which unexpectedly comforting me. I remember it was also raining when you laughed at me after I told you that I didn't like pennies, because they might be such worthless.

Then you said I was too ridiculous, someone who someone could love, like those pennies. The sunrays peeking through my iris, slowly erasing up the dull taupe sky. And I knew if there were anyone capable of loving me that way, it would always be you. Because it may be true that I'm the pennies in the lint of your pocket-- a little worthless, but you'll never throw them out. Glad that I didn't get lost in the ditches before you took me into your life.

I just finished the first day of my final examination! *sigh* See you on the next 2 weeks (oh why I've been MIA this much) And for anyone who is also fighting for exam, all the best for you guys ^____^

PS Thank you for the kind wishes for my daddy and this blog! ♥

PSS Just fyi that my friend offered me to be the model for his next photo hunting, GOSH I'm so nervous! *looking down to my huge tummy+thighs+calves trio* And I've been thinking for the theme/concept. Do you have any advices or ideas? Please share if you do, I'll appreciate it so much ^____^

Stay fabulous, bloggers!

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BECAUSE LOVE HAS NO BOUNDARIES AND PASSES OVER BORDERS.

I once knew a complete stranger who was (I hope he was) known as a party freak. We were both alone at the coffee shop that cloudy Saturday. He was semiconscious, and sipping his early wine. I ever wondered what people use to do in club, so I straightly asked him. 

"Everything useless, you might say." I got a little surprised. 

"The space you have to dance is only where you stand on, the drinks can cost 4 cups of coffee per glass, you make friends with strangers , and finally, the staggered people will throw up on your favorite shoes," he continued,"however I keep going in because it's where I get happiness, at least for several hours."

"And your parents aren't mad?" I directly asked. He nodded.

"Uh-huh. Like they care. Haha. Because I have no home to come back to. Well for me, family is nothing but one of million words in dictionary." I still remember his face that moment. His flat expression, his soulless responses. The hazy lights filtering through the sheer curtains beside us. Trapped in silence, deep inside I whispered to thank God for my family. 

I never see him again, but may he take his time to read what family means on dictionary and realize it.

I deserve rotten tomatoes to eat if you were going to throw me some. lol I meant I apologize for a sudden hiatus in almost 2 months, Godness. I'm suffering from flu, laryngitis, and fever in a row. And even lost 2,5 kgs..oh my. Anyway! Big thanks for the over 100++ comments and followers who keep on increasing when I was away! How can't I love you guys? ;)

Well, I'm still alive finally xD and here I show you my current favorite purchases : Studded black blazer, lace tops (grabbed it in 4 colors lol) and perfect match for my new blazer; a pair of studded black pumps! They always be my top three timeless picks, what are yours? ;)

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BECAUSE SINCE THE DAY WE MET, YOU ARE MY FAVORITE.

Flow of rushing river could be controlled, but nor does the blood flowing through my veins, running all the way to my purely beating heart. All the words I would have said are all locked inside my red, pouty lips. Can you feel me? I am the shadow that preys by your side, the every thing that hides as you walk on, and something that's missing as you look back in those lonely nights. 

I am the whispers that you hear when no one near, I am the wind breeze that embraces you when the coldest full moon contemns you. I am always there, for you, until the breaking dawn swallows the horrendous darkness. You are the every inch of eternity, the perfect reflection of Gabriel, the best thing in me.

Gotta admit that I didn't even realize that I was suffering from stress last week. We got math, physics, and biology test in a row! I was effing shock when my hair started to fall and Mom even said I looked like a stick alien! This week we're having mid test for second semester but I'm feeling all better at least. Anyway, I'm typing this post with fresh orange juice and medium size of Cheese Gallore pizza next to me! I don't care how many tons of fats it contains, it tastes heavenly delicious! What flavor of pizza do you guys can't resist? =)

PS If you are wondering, yes I can finish it off by myself! Now you know I have such big tummy =D
PSS Please Pray for JAPAN!

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MANY WATERS CANNOT QUENCH LOVE, NEITHER CAN THE FLOODS DROWN IT.

"I'd fight against Satan and all his demons, even if they offer me eternity. I'd give you the invisible, magical arrow of Cupid,through the beating hearts of doves. I would sit you on a throne of gold and ruby,surrender to you like a Queen because you really are. With the mysterious beauty of glimmering gemstones and silken robes,and a palace right by the flowing, clear stream,I would serve you to the infinity. What's more should I dedicate to you, my lady, in the honour to prove my love?"

"Nothing,"she said,"I only need your gentle, warm kisses. That tender feel of your touch over my cold body, like the way you embrace my every inch of imperfections. I am the black and you are the white, like the wheel you'd be on the upside and I'm falling deep down inside. But somehow, they are the best combination ever."

PS Please kindly ignore my bad skill on curling the bottom of my hair and my inherited big thighs xD

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SINGLE OR TAKEN, YOU'RE LOVED.

he's the perfect image of simplicity, he has aims in life - and knows how to deal with it. he has the idealism in him, and knows how to defend his thoughts, even the most radical one. he's such a thinker. he knows how to discover and develop gifted talents. he's a musician - he sings me beautiful melody. Also, he's a man of letters. he versifies hundreds, no, thousands of poetries and proses. he's a skilled technician, he fixes the troubled engines when we are on a date. In seconds.

he's smart. he has the greatest insight. he never leaves his responsibilities, for the big and smallest ones. he's honest - well, innocent. he's kind-hearted, he's pure like a fallen angel. he has a faith, a belief. and knowledges. he's a gentleman, he knows how to love girl in a million proper ways. and he's my man. the one and only. you are the most perfect rhytm I ever hum, the craziest thing I ever do, and might be the way where God leads me to step onto.

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I AM LAS VEGAS, GROWING BY THE INFINITE.

It was a half moon hanging on the somber sky.The hunchback-cloud came close, surrendered to the rules of the wolves.My mind was blowing away with the glasses of Pinot Noir,when I barely caught the deep enticing glances in the ballroom corner .

Scary yet inviting, as he made his way closer.He kneeled down for me like the Prince of nowhere does.All else faded to silence, the music slowed down to silently speak.He asked me for the last dance in that deep haunting night.We took the steps onto the dance floor from peculiar lonely corners.Then suddenly, the world was frozen still. Icicles would drip from frozen glances of the chill.

We played for love like an April fool.For only one night on the road of Damascus.You led me up the mysterious black rose garden path, flew me away into my fool’s paradise of a dystopian dream. It was a strange, bloody night. We died by the pleasure of the anti-utopian romance, and I don't know if we could meet again. Wether by the side of Yahweh, or even Lucifer.

I have a lot of this series of photos which came from the photo shoots I did and I ended up with never liking the result, for the bad lighting or my unworthed poses. Sorry for no whole outfit post for weeks, it's never easy to organize time when there are two things becoming priorities in the same time, thought..

PSS Thanks for 200++ followers! I love you <3

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MOTHER, NEXT TIME YOU WILL GET TO KNOW HIM.

"My love,"she started to whisper, as if the unborn fetus could hear,"You were in the dolls of my childhood's games; and as with clay I made the image of my guardian angels every morning, I made the unmade you then. And now, we will soon be connected in our bittersweet fate. You and I, together. I will embrace you with my warmest hug, and teach you how to keep your chin up while others try to bring you down. You will be the most beautiful creature my eyes ever seen, for the fact you'd be born from a fragile soul like me."

and now it has been almost 16 years passed when you only knew the language of crying and giggling. your soft skin still remains the same even it's not as pure as the angels might have. It was minutes before New Year, you made the most beautiful moment in my entire day, you stood and smiled, gave me the flowers you hid behind your back as you stepped towards me awkwardly. I couldn't resist my tears to flow across my wrinkled cheeks. There she was, my little girl has grown up more than I ever expected. She was, and still is: my every granted wishes of the existing Greek mythological gods and goddesses.

PS the flowers-yes they're fake-was made by myself for my mom's 44th birthday gift I told before. 

It was sure the simplest gift I ever gave her, and little things have way bigger meanings for others - in the case of sincerity and love.

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MAKE THEM GO "OH" AS YOU SHOOT ACROSS THE SKY.

I stand still, enchanted and free. And you, babe. You are the song of my soul. Won’t you sing it for me? Come, and shine on the sapphire jewel of my body. In your passionate rapture, I will be in. Soon.I am your warm velvet emerald sea. The shimmering cosmic is my love for you. Glimpse of heaven, you may say. Dazzling, too good to be seen.In my dreams, butterflies and stardust are dancing with you. Do the waltz inside my fragile hearts. 

Show me your spark, my buried sunshine. You are the spirit infused with this love. In the kaleidoscope of your dreams, I sail through, across the dead sea to reach you. You are the moonkissed angel, with eyes of azure blue.Tranquil, cold, yet calming. Your aura, was illuminated by the splendor blue fire within you. Fireflies are aglowing while dancing deep inside your soul. Sparkling tendrils of your crystal, white hair, whispering stories like the spinning gold. Everything about you, is the sweetest story a mother of Aphrodite could ever tell.

 mom's dress; unknown (read: forgotten) chained waist belt; faux snake skin bag from HK; Studio Nine heels

Forgot to erase the B&W effect on the belt while editing the last pic. The colour of the chains should be gold. Ah, I'm absolutely a careless girl! Anyway, I have recently been loving this dress! Thanks mom we have such petite figures! Do you girls wear your mom's clothes too? =D

Oh, last but not least...Happy 2011! Time flies so fast, doesn't it? I can't believe 365 days has passed, just like so 0____0 

PSS What's your 2011 resolutions, gorgeus? ^^ All the best for our new beginnings! xx

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ALMOST SOBER.

His eyes were unlike anything I had ever seen before. They were greener than the most secluded meadow after a spring shower, and yet housed the fury of a sea after a storm. Their depths told many stories and wisdom beyond my understanding, speaking of things that I should never know. Those beautiful, terrible eyes followed me as I sat at a coffee shop, watching my every move. A slight blush crept into my face at the intensity of his gaze, and he walked, nearer towards me.

Today, I’m watching you, tears in eyes, on that fateful day in nearly end of December. I know it has to be over from the first day we laugh together, we all do. Pain streaming down my face, head in arms, I sit and think about you. It's must be the time to grow, change and go on our separated ways.

Apparently everyone wanted you. Half of the others would've killed me to have you. But you were mine, clear for everyone to see, for the reasons to the jealousy of everyone else. Then you told me that I would have no reason for loving you. That you would paint the pains in my deepest breath, that you might have still longing for her, the one you miss. That you were the most unbreakable icebergs ever alived. But, in essence, that's the beauty of you. You had such a magical sound in you. Meanwhile, you told me the most stupid thing about you. For love, for her. Still. I heard the jeering; I cringed as you hurled abuse at yourself.

knitted dress from HK; Old Navy fur belt; unbranded stockings; unknown brand new boots from HK

Baby...do I suppose to cry? But why I’m not? Ah, I know I’m deeply adoring you. Let me be the one to know the gracious side in you.

PS Greetings for everyone: Merry belated Christmas! How was your Christmas? Hope you had found gorgeus stuffs for the upcoming New Year! I'm going to spend my NY eve by celebrating my mom's birthday which happens on Dec, 31st =D how about you? ^^

PSS And yes thanks mom for my new bangs! LOL this is the 1st time she did it right fyi xP *hope she didnt read this. Amen*
And yes. The Jack Daniels is just a property. I never taste it in my entire life. LOL xD 

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